Spending a morning at the DMV...

Dear Saturday morning,

You came much to soon, and brought with you the unhappy errand of going to the DMV (pardon me, Maryland, the MVA as you call it) to get a Maryland license.  There is a long back story as to why I'm getting one that I'm not going to go into here, but I am not pleased.  For one, Maryland licenses are ugly as anything.  There's a crab on them.  Now, I understand you all really enjoy crabs (insert STD joke here) but why do you need to deface a drivers license with a crab?  And you want me to list my weight?  Does Maryland hate all women?  I put my real weight on it, too, because I feel like lying to make myself look thinner would depress me on a fat day when I open my wallet to buy a gallon of ice cream or some cookie dough and see some ridiculous weight I will never be listed on the license.  Also I hate Maryland.

This is a blog about reading, so I promise there will be some literature connection, but for now, I get my 5 minutes of bitching.  Mom, if you're reading, please skip the next line.

Fuck you, MVA.

Firstly, I've tried before to get my license switched and they've told me I didn't have 'proof of residency.'  NO ONE WANTS TO LIVE IN MARYLAND, JUST LET ME IN ALREADY.  So when I went today, I thought I had all my bases covered.  Wrong.  Dead freaking wrong.  Apparently my pay stub didn't count as my social security option, so I checked with the counter man that I had everything else, and went home to look for my W2.  I found it, went back, waited in line ALL OVER AGAIN, got to the counter, he approved everything and I got a number.  I waited FOREVER again, finally got called up, and the woman tells me I DON'T HAVE PROOF OF RESIDENCY.  Are you out of your goddamn mind, lady???  I told her in my most polite but powerful voice that I had specifically asked and had been told all of my documents were fine.  Long story short, I finally got everything approved but it took forever.  The MVA likes to make your life as miserable as possible.

I did bring my kindle with me to continue reading The Handmaid's Tale while I waited.  This is a good plan, yes?  Waiting forever, have something to read, it's travel friendly... until it FROZE as soon as I got in line the first time.  Yes, ladies and gentlemen, my reading froze.  Again, mom, don't read the next line. Fuck you, ebooks.  This is why I like paper copies.

I brought back The Tipping Point for my 2nd trip to the DM-- excuse me, MVA, so I did get about 60 pages of reading in.  That will be an update for another post.  I just wanted to write hate mail to Saturday morning and the DMV.  MVA.  What-the-eff-ever.

So thanks, Saturday morning.  Thank you, state of Maryland.  I hate you both.

Love,
Leah

ps - I'm seeing A Charlie Brown Christmas later today, then having dinner with Shank and Ryan, then going up to Jimmy's to see his new house, then going out, then having a sleepover with Colin, so you don't completely fail.  But before noon?  We are not friends anymore.

E-A-G-L-E-S EAGLES!

I was going to get in bed and read before going to sleep, but we do in fact get the Eagles game, so I'm going to watch football until I pass out instead.  Priorities, people.

My professor emailed me back this afternoon about my memoir draft, and she had this to say:  

I will send you specific feedback in the next few days, but for now I want to register these impressions: This work is at turns funny and heartbreaking, and it is always brave, both personally and artistically. It represents a substantial achievement, and I hope you recognize it as such. I'm honored to have been part of the process.

I'm sharing it with you, wonderful blog readers, because I don't have my one person to tell these things to anymore.  I'm okay with that.  I have my outlet here, and although today was rough, I'm still truckin'.  In other news, I have done many adult things in the past 24 hours, life decision-wise.  And I'm feeling pretty good about all of it.  Life goes on, and I'm going to be there for the ride.  I'm pretty proud of myself, at the moment.

And remember, ladies and gentlemen, you are never alone when you have literature.

Happy December!

Nothing much to say about books, other than I need to start reading again.  I've been sleeping a lot since I got home, and this is the LATEST I've been awake.  It's almost 10pm, but I was working on my grad school homework.  My memoir is currently 41 pages, and there are still edits to be made, and about 3-4 more stories to flesh out over the weekend.

41 pages!  I didn't even realize my life was that interesting, and it's only about a small portion of my life.  Crazy how at 23, I have enough to fill that.

My memoirs class has been wonderful.  I am in LOVE with the professor (really, I adore her) and she's brilliant, so when she stopped me in the middle of a rant one evening, I listened to her.  I was saying how I was hoping for more feedback from a small group discussion -- I was not paired up with the best people to get actual opinions and suggestions -- because I am not a writer, so I'm always looking for advice.  And I meant it; I don't write creative prose.  Sometimes I write poetry, but it's never very good.  Although Danny has read a few and liked them -- or so he said.  He might just have been trying to get in my pants.

Just kidding, mom.

But I digress.  So I'm saying to her that I'm not a writer, and she interrupts me and says "No, Leah, you are a writer."  She then went on to tell me what I do really well.

I almost died of happiness.  I've never considered being a writer as a career, nor am I naive enough to think I could become a writer at this point in my life, with no real experience or skills, but to have someone as intelligent as her compliment me?  Man, it felt good.

What does this have to do with my experiment?  Nothing, except that I appreciate the writing process so much more after this class.  The final draft will probably end up somewhere between 60 and 70 pages, maybe more if I have some ideas this weekend.  And I have to pick pieces to share with the class on Monday, about 20 minutes worth of material.

Being a writer is hard.  And scary.  So thank you, to all the writers out there who make reading wonderful.  Thank you for being braver than I could ever be.

Home again

I'm laying in bed at my parent's house, I've been awake for 2 hours.  I passed out around 8pm last night.  Oh, jet lag.  Also, I stayed up all Saturday night in order to make sure I made my flight on Sunday morning.  Luckily for me, Danny agreed to ride to the airport with me at 4 am, and stayed until 6am when I went through security.  He's good people :)

Europe was amazing.  I got to go back to Prague, my favorite city in the world, with one of my favorite people in the world.  The train ride was about 6-7 hours each way, but well worth it.  The whole trip, Budapest and Prague, still feels like it didn't actually happen.  Very surreal.  I got to see Brooke and Darcy (and the majority of the Americans there I met on Wednesday night), and I met some of Danny's friends (Bodwin, mainly).

Anyway, I'm about halfway through The Handmaid's Tale which is a really great novel so far.  Still very interesting and intriguing.  I would have read more, but Danny is quite distracting during long periods of traveling, and on the flight home, I'll just say I was exhausted and post-Amsterdam, so I spent the flight to Newark watching movies and falling asleep.

I'm going to try and finish The Handmaid's Tale this week, then get back to Memoirs of a Geisha. As for now, I'm going to get out of bed because I don't think I'm going back to sleep... it's been 2 hours already.

Nem nem nem

Here I am, in Budapest... stuck in a room with nothing to do but read.  I suppose for the sake of this blogging project it's not the worst, but I am getting very much like the woman in the room with the yellow wallpaper.  I'm about to start pacing and wearing a hole into the flooring of Danny's room.

The trip over was just fine.  I finished The Picture of Dorian Gray, which reminded me very much of Edgar Allan Poe's short story "The Oval Portrait" (so much so that I often call Dorian the PORTRAIT instead of the picture... hmmm... subconscious?).  I love Poe and I love Wilde, so together it made for a lovely combination.  Currently reading The Handmaid's Tale, which I like, even though it is frustrating.  Dorian  was frustrating at times because Wilde loves to go on and on about Parisian things and fashion (sorry, Diana, not for me) but the premise was neat.  The Handmaid's Tale is frustrating in a literary sense because she slowly reveals things about this 'utopian' society, leaving me as a reader confused and needing to keep reading to put all the pieces together.  It's a good confused and frustrated!

Unlike sitting in this room.  I was supposed to go to the market with Brooke, but it's now 2 oclock and I have yet to hear from her.  Danny forgot he had class (or something, I don't quite get that) and is gone, so I asked his roommate to unlock the door for me (yes, I was locked in his flat.  Just another thing to make me start to go crazy) because I wanted to go walk around Oktogon by myself, since I am only in Budapest for today and tomorrow we go to Romania.  What I didn't realize is that the main door to their building locks, and since I am without keys, the code to get in the building, and a cell phone, I simply gave up and came back upstairs to sit in a room.  Again.  and since I don't know when we're getting back Saturday, but I know it will be late, and my flight Sunday morning leaves at 6:50am, I feel like I've wasted all of my time in the city.  Yesterday I was jetlagged and so my experience was slightly foggy, and today I've done nothing but shower and sit around. Yes, I did some homework and yes, I read, but I'm in Europe.

Why am I sitting in a room when I should be out exploring?

"It was the second thing that slipped right out from under me today. The first was my childhood."

Anyone watch Modern Family? If not, please get on that immediately.

I just read and finished Winnie the Pooh.  Precious.   I don't know how I got this far in life without actually reading the original, but it was very sweet.  The characters are different than they are in the modernized cartoon versions, and I think I like the original characters better.  I also really like how A. A. Milne is telling the story to Christopher Robin, and although as an adult reader, it is clear that the narrator sees C. R. as a child, C. R. has some really great lines.  At one point he tells Pooh "Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think."


Heartwarming <3

Anywho, I leave in less than 48 hours for Budapest.  I'm freaking out.  Mostly because of the traveling, which always makes me nervous, but also because Danny has been iffy about skyping recently, so our plans are still very much up in the air.  I like to have a plan.  I'm not a decisive person and I don't like making decisions, but damn it!!  We need to figure things out!  I'm only in Europe for 5 days, and if we're going to Romania, we need to figure out where and when!  UGH it's frustrating.

That being said, I'm just about to put on some hulu stuff that's backed up (Always Sunny and I might re-watch Glee just for the Cee Lo cover...) and add some books to my kindle for the trip.  Currently I have Dorian Gray, and I just bought The Handmaid's Tale, Grendel, and Waiting for Godot.  The one great thing about the kindle is that if I can get wireless, I can purchase a book if I need another!

Happy travels to me :)

Never forget me, because if I thought you would, I'd never leave.
Man, I love Winnie the Pooh...

10 days left

That's right.  In 10 days I will be in Budapest, reunited with my Brooklyn for just under a week.  I'm not looking forward to the traveling, other than a chance to 1) read a lot. 2) plan lessons (don't judge me, I'm a huge nerd about my job). 3) have a 5 hour layover in Amsterdam.  Interpret freely.  I'm really starting to stress about the trip; how much to pack, should I check luggage to avoid the no liquids issues -- I have a lot of crazy hair that needs products to survive -- how will I manage on a flight to Europe by myself for the first time, what happens once I'm there, who's picking me up, who am I spending time with, etc. etc.  I don't want to act like I'm not excited, but I wish I had more positivity in regard to the trip.  I know all of my friends who spent a semester in Buda are jealous I'm going, and I promised Dan a keychain and Colin that I would go to some bar (I don't remember the name of it...) but I'm just so meh right now, it's hard to feel excited.

I've been reading The Tipping Point, and although I like Gladwell's style and his way of explaining things so I don't feel like a complete moron, I'm having trouble getting through it.  I tore through Outliers, but this one is taking much longer.  So here is the question: Do I start another book, and read two at once?  Do I have to get through an entire book before starting on another? 

I've read more than one book at once my entire life.  I read multiple books at a time growing up because I would start one, then get excited about another, so read that in the middle, or I'd borrow one and  have to finish it quickly.  In college, English majors read more than one book at a time every semester, unless you some how manage to take only one Literature course a semester.

I think I'll start another book at the same time.  The Tipping Point is non-fiction, so it's not plot driven, so I think it's a good choice for a double up experience.

Decent weekend so far.  McDaniel last night with the ladies, around the house now, trying to see if Diana wants to come over tonight, tomorrow is baking day, and Monday is the football game.  I have a lot riding on this game, so let's hope the Eagles win.

Off to the grocery store, then deciding on dinner.  I'll start book 2 tonight.

Are you a connector?

Okay, I think it's time to update on what my post from Wednesday was all about.  First things first, I apologize for any incoherence in this post.  I'm attempting to recover from McDaniel's homecoming weekend, where I spent the majority of the time drunk (sorry, mom) or laying with Diana in bed googling dinosaur jokes.  We drank four loko last night (don't even get me started) then went to the bar to drink more, after drinking all day at the football game.  I woke up this morning around 9, still drunk, fell out of the bed I'd been sleeping in, and realized that today was not going to be my day.  I'm currently in ugly sweats, watching the Eagles game, texting Colin Miller (hi Colin!) and preparing to grade final essays on The Secret Life of Bees.  I also have grad school homework, and lessons to plan.

Oops.

Anywho, let me explain the experiment with the last names.  Basically, your number determines if you are what is called a 'connector,' which is someone who has a lot of acquaintances and knows a lot of people.  Connectors are an integral part of trends and fads and epidemics.  I scored a 59, which is above the average for college aged people.  The average is around 21.  In a group of professionals in their 20's and 30's the average score was 41.  So my score of 59 is pretty high.  Does this make me a connector?  Do I really know a lot of people?  Do I not have a lot of close friends, and instead have a lot of people with a 'weak tie,' a friendly connection but not a deep connection?

Not sure how I feel about that, but I sure do know a lot of people.  I guess in the world of epidemics, I could start something in a small way.

On chapter 3 of The Tipping Point.  Hopefully finishing it up this week, then I want to move on to something fiction.  I like non-fiction, but it's not my favorite.  It is interesting, though.  I think after this, I'll try and finish up An American Childhood, which I really don't like all that much.  I'm trying to save the young adult and children's lit for later on in the experiment.

Have a fabulous week!  And to my regular readers, I know who you are, and I love you.  To my random readers, I hope you come back again.  And Max: this is really nerdy, but I'm still cooler than you.

Who do you know?

An interesting experiment from the book The Tipping Point.  Try it out, leave a comment with your number, and I'll explain in a later post.

"In the paragraph below is a list of around 250 surnames, all taken at random from the Manhattan phone book. Go down the list and give yourself a point every time you see a surname that is shared by someone you know. (The definition of "know" here is very broad. It is if you sat down next to that person on a train, you would know their name if they introduced themselves to you, and they would know your name.) Multiple names count. If the name is Johnson, in other words, and you know three Johnsons, you get three points."

Algazi, Alvarez, Alpern, Ametrano, Andrews, Aran, Arnstein, Ashford, Bailey Ballout, Bamberger, Baptista, Barr, Barrows, Baskerville, Bassiri, Bell, Bokgese, Brandao, Bravo, Brooke, Brightman, Billy, Blau, Bohen, Bohn, Borsuk, Brendle, Butler, Calle, Cantwell, Carrell, Chinlund, Cirker, Cohen, Collas, Couch, Callegher, Calcaterra, Cook, Carey, Cassell, Chen, Chung, Clarke, Cohn, Carton, Crowley, Curbelo, Dellamanna, Diaz, Dirar, Duncan, Dagostino, Delakas, Dillon, Donaghey, Daly, Dawson, Edery, Ellis, Elliott, Eastman, Easton, Famous, Fermin, Fialco, Finklestein, Farber, Falkin, Feinman, Friedman, Gardner, Gelpi, Glascock, Grandfield, Greenbaum Greenwood, Gruber, Garil, Goff, Gladwell, Greenup, Gannon, Ganshaw, Garcia, Gennis, Gerard, Gericke, Gilbert, Glassman, Glazer, Gomendio, Gonzalez, Greenstein, Guglielmo, Gurman, Haberkorn, Hoskins, Hussein, Hamm, Hardwick, Harrell, Hauptman, Hawkins, Henderson, Hayman, Hibara, Hehmann, Herbst, Hedges, Hogan, Hoffman, Horowitz, Hsu, Huber, Ikiz, Jaroschy, Johann, Jacobs, Jara, Johnson, Kassel, Keegan, Kuroda, Kavanau, Keller, Kevill, Kiew, Kimbrough, Kline, Kossoff, Kotzitzky, Kahn, Kiesler, Kosser, Korte, Leibowitz, Lin, Liu, Lowrance, Lundh, Laux, Leifer, Leung, Levine, Leiw, Lockwood, Logrono, Lohnes, Lowet, Laber, Leonardi, Marten, McLean, Michaels, Miranda, Moy, Marin, Muir, Murphy, Marodon, Matos, Mendoza, Muraki, Neck, Needham, Noboa, Null, O'Flynn, O'Neill, Orlowski, Perkins, Pieper, Pierre, Pons, Pruska, Paulino, Popper, Potter, Purpura, Palma, Perez, Portocarrero, Punwasi, Rader, Rankin, Ray, Reyes, Richardson, Ritter, Roos, Rose, Rosenfeld, Roth, Rutherford, Rustin, Ramos, Regan, Reisman, Renkert, Roberts, Rowan, Rene, Rosario, Rothbart, Saperstein, Schoenbrod, Schwed, Sears, Statosky, Sutphen, Sheehy, Silverton, Silverman, Silverstein, Sklar, Slotkin, Speros, Stollman, Sadowski, Schles, Shapiro, Sigdel, Snow, Spencer, Steinkol, Stewart, Stires, Stopnik, Stonehill, Tayss, Tilney, Temple, Torfield, Townsend, Trimpin, Turchin, Villa, Vasillov, Voda, Waring, Weber, Weinstein, Wang, Wegimont, Weed, Weishaus.

How many points did you get?  I got 59.

The Joy Luck Club and waving goodbye

So I finished book three.  Epic fail on my part, this has been going on for a month, and I can't even keep up with a book a week.  My life is all over the place right now, and my memoirs class is making it more apparent.  My theme for my writing is 'adult experiences,' which is not anything I wanted to write about, but it is what I seem to have fallen into.  There are things I'm writing about that don't have the distance I need to really reflect back, but even though it went on my "DO NOT WRITE" list, they are fighting to come out.

It's amazing the things we will put in writing or down on paper and share with complete strangers.  The 4 other members of the class and my professor have learned things about me and heard stories from my life that not even my close friends necessarily know.  And isn't that the way with literature, fiction or non?  As authors, interior thoughts are recorded for all to see.  If it isn't memoir or autobiography, it still comes from something deep inside of a writer.  All novels are, in a way, insanely personal.

The Joy Luck Club is obviously a huge part of Amy Tan's actual experience as a Chinese-American.  The story revolves around 4 mothers and 4 daughters and is told through each of their perspectives, alternating chapters and sharing life experiences.  The parallels between the mothers and daughters is something the children aren't sure they want to experience, but there is a mutual understanding and love throughout it.

[it's very hard to concentrate right now, because Tyson is snoring his doggie snores from Matt's room, and it's RIDICULOUSLY loud]

There are some stories that I enjoyed more than others, but one of the most touching moments in the story comes toward the end.  The premise of the novel is that one of the women has died and her daughter is taking her place at the Joy Luck Club meetings, bringing her into a world she doesn't truly know.  She learns that her mother had twin baby girls when she lived in China, and had to leave them on the side of the road with all of her money and jewelery when the Japanese invaded.  These girls are still alive, but do not know that the mother has just recently died. 

At the airport when Jing-mei is preparing to leave her father's side of the family in China and go to her half-sisters, she comments on goodbye's:

"And now at the airport, after shaking hands with everybody, waving good-bye, I think about all the different ways we leave people in this world.  Cheerily waving good-bye to some at airports, knowing we'll never see each other again.  Leaving others on the side of the road, hoping that we will.  Finding my mother in my father's story and saying good-bye before I have a chance to know her better" (286).

So I got to thinking about good-byes.  At the end of The House on Mango Street there is a story called "Mango Says Goodbye Sometimes" and it's about how you never really leave a place (or a person) behind.  When we say goodbye to someone, do we ever really mean goodbye?  If we aren't physically leaving them, but are emotionally leaving them instead, is it really goodbye?  Or is it just the only thing we have left to do or to say?  Even when someone dies, is it really goodbye?  If someone lives on in memory, it isn't the last we think of them, or have them in our lives.

The purpose of literature is to connect and explore and question, but is it also to preserve?  We take photos and keep journals in order to remember our life experiences.  Is literature simply a way for authors to preserve their life experiences, just told through a more comfortable and convenient medium?

Would I be better off writing my memoirs into a piece of fiction, or is it the truth of my experiences that makes it easy to write?

In any case, The Joy Luck Club was wonderful.  And I need to step up my game.  Next on my list? I might try The Tipping Point, work some non-fiction into my list.  I decided against Memoirs of a Geisha.  Too much Asian culture at once might make me go crazy.

Sunday Afternoon

It's official; I'm going to Budapest in just under a month for just under a week to visit Brooke (and Danny and Darcy, but mostly Brooke.  Also, Danny and Darcy don't read this, so I don't feel bad about parenthesizing them. Is parenthesizing a word?  It's not underlined red as a spelling error, so I assume it is.  I'm pretty excited about that!).  I'll be sure to load my Kindle with lots of things to read, as it is a rather long time to be traveling.  My layover on the way home is 5 hours, but it's in Amsterdam, so I'm leaving the airport to explore, not sitting in a waiting room somewhere reading.

I'm currently reading The Joy Luck Club by Amy Tan, which is interesting.  I've read a few of her short stories (I've taught a few of them, too), but I've never gotten around to reading this novel.  I'm about 3/4's of the way through, so hopefully tonight/tomorrow I can finish it up for a post in the next few days with my thoughts.  It's an interesting look at not just the relationships between parents and children -- focusing primarily, of course, on mothers and daughters -- but it's an interesting look at cultural elements and what exactly we do inherit from our parents and families.  It reminds me of a spoken word piece I shared with my students during our slam poetry unit called 'Knock, Knock'

Yes, we are our fathers' sons and daughters,
But we are not their choices.

It's an interesting idea.  Watching the Ravens play right now, and keeping updating on the Eagles play-by-play because the game isn't on TV (yet another reason why I'm moving to Philly this summer!) and getting ready to grade a million and one papers.  Later, Matt and I (and maybe Alicia!) are going to watch Rocky Horror in preparation for Glee on Tuesday night!  And I have grad school homework to take care of... Oh, Sunday.  How I hate you sometimes...

She turned me into a Newt!

First of all, I am a HORRIBLE blogger!  It has been almost 20 days since my last post, and although I've read a book and almost finished another book since then, I haven't been updating.  Fail.  At first it was an issue of 'well, I haven't finished the second book yet.'  But then it turned into 'man I'm busy.  I am always running around.  I'll find time this weekend.'

It got to the point where I was laying in bed before falling asleep re-watching season one of Entourage for the second time (that means this is the third time I'll have watched season one, for those of you confused.  It took me a while to get it right, as well.)  Ridiculous!  From now on, before going to sleep it's some reading or blogging time.  Unless I have an episode of Dexter to watch.  Or season two of Entourage is onDemand.

From now on, my plan is to update at least once a week, even if I haven't finished a book in that time.  Since this project isn't just about reading 52 books, I need to remember what my other goals were; making time for myself, finishing what I start, and self-reflection.  I also need to start going to the gym and working with the weights.  And make a doctor's appointment.  And change my driver's license (weekend plans, I swear!).

My second book to cross off the list was Cat's Cradle by Kurt Vonnegut.  I read Slaughterhouse-Five in college in my American Lit class with Dr. Mary (that's a lot of prepositional phrases) and I loved it.  I found his style to be engaging and interesting, and the subject matter was just... well, it wasn't something I was entirely comfortable with, but I got used to it.  Cat's Cradle is similar in style and in subject matter.  Time is just a concept, narration is skewed and ambiguous, the plot, sarcastic and satirical.

Here's my problem; I have no one to talk to!  As an English major, I'm used to class discussion of books, professors offering opinions and information to help us along the way, and although I like to think I'm a pretty intelligent person, I miss college classes!  Vonnegut is great, but I don't think I got as much out of the novel as I would have reading it with a class or a book club of some kind.  Does this mean I can't enjoy books as much anymore, if I don't have anyone to talk with?  Does this make me less intelligent than I originally thought?

Or is Vonnegut just hard?

Call me Jonah?  Call me confused.  Chris Worthington, let's have coffee.  Explain Vonnegut to me, before I give up on being an accomplished reader.

I did really enjoy the idea of Bokononism, the religion of the city in the novel.  That's for another post, when I've gotten to wrap my head around some things.  My personal favorite idea is how Bononoists whisper 'busy, busy, busy' when something reminds them of how complex and unpredictable life is :)

Currently reading The Joy Luck Club.  Almost finished, loving it, can't wait to watch the film when I'm done.

One Hundred Demons

One Hundred Demons by Linda Barry

The last 24 hours have been a whirlwind of traveling from Baltimore to Philly to Yardley to my parent's house, then back to Reisterstown today.  The one good part is I got a lot of reading done on day one of the project.  I finished One Hundred Demons in a very short amount of time, then moved on to Cat's Cradle, which I'm about 3/4ths of the way through.  But that's for another time.  For now I want to talk about One Hundred Demons.


The premise of One Hundred Demons is interesting.  Linda Barry is a cartoonist, so the book, which she categorizes as 'autobifictionalography,' is a memoir told through a series of comic strips.  Barry read about a painting excercise called One Hundred Demons, where you literally paint demons.  And see what comes out of you.  Each 'chapter' in the book is dedicated to a different demon, something that shaped her life and made her the person she is today (although she doesn't come right out and tell us that, it's pretty apparent that's what's happening here).  The chapters have titles like 'Head Lice and My Worst Boyfriend,' 'The Aswang,' 'Cicadas,' and 'Hate,' and each deals with a different demon.  The stories are not chronological, which I think lends to the power of the book.

From the chapter 'Lost Worlds'

Even though some stories may seem like they are insignificant, each plays an important roll in developing Barry as a character.  It's telling how she draws herself, and the use of comic strips was actually really interesting as a reader.  In 'Lost Worlds' she looks back at childhood kickball games.  Notice how the dialogue of the characters is not directly related to her narration.  While reading the book, I found myself laughing (awkwardly on a train, oops!) at the memories she drags up.  Some are very funny, some hit close to home, and others are painfully sad.  One chapter talks about the suicide of a friend growing up, one hints at possible sexual abuse as a child, others let us see Barry in a self-conscious way, admitting to horrible things she did growing up.  The thing I loved most about the book was that I started to think about my own One Hundred Demons.  What are the things that are haunting me?  What have I done that's wronged people in my past?  How can we learn to live with these demons?

Where Barry really gets it is in a chapter titled 'Magic Lanterns' which is about those things we cling to as children; security blankets, stuffed animals, a toy.  As a self-proclaimed baby blanket extrodinare, I loved this story.  In it, a child looses his stuffed bunny and Barry sees a man in the airport about to throw it away because 'the lost and found is for important things.'  So she takes it home with her, and asks, in the comic, for someone to claim it if it belongs to them.  The reason I loved this story so much is because she takes the idea of security items and ties it into literature, which is what this project is all about.  She asks why we are so moved by stories, what is it that makes us come back to the same stories, or cry at a sad (or happy!) ending, what makes those stories come alive?

In One Hundred Demons, it's the honesty of each chapter.  I could analyze or critically discuss this book for hours and hours, but that's not why it is still floating around in my head, even though I'm on to book 2.  The book makes you really stop and think, and it forces you to reconsider yourself.  And that, Linda Barry, is why we are so moved by stories.

T minus 2 1/2 hours!

That's right... the great experiment begins tomorrow! (or at midnight tonight... if I can't sleep, I might get a head start!)

My car, Lola, broke down on Sunday. My first car. :( I loved her very much, and I will miss her. I have to take the train up to my parent's house tomorrow night, and I'm looking at it as a very good thing. I'll have plenty of time to read on the metro, waiting for the train, on the train, waiting in Philly for the rail, and on the rail. And maybe even when I get home. I might get through 2 books on the very first day!

Thank you to all of you who have decided to come along for the ride. I'm not sure what's going to happen, but I hope it'll never be boring.

Lots of love, goodnight world!

Anfangen ist leicht, beharren eine Kunst

"To begin is easy, to persist is art"

The list is finalized! It's not in any particular order (as I finish the book, it'll appear with a line through it in the side bar). I'll be starting with 100 Demons and ending with On the Road. The books in the middle are in no particular order, but I'm going to aim for roughly one book a week, and if I get through more than one a week at times, even better. I'd rather finish up early and add to the list than have to crunch at the end. It's an exercise in time management.

Saying I'm going to tackle this project is easy; blogging about the books I want to read is simple. Following through? Not so much. But I've set out to do this, and I'm going to do it. Even if it kills me. Although, I don't think anyone has ever died from reading too much. It might be a first. Maybe I should get a Life Alert...

I also really want to go to Budapest to visit Danny and Brooke. Maybe I should just do it, throw caution to the wind, spend the money. How often do I have more than one person in a European country that would be willing to put me up? And think about how many books I could read traveling that far???

With that, it's time to grade papers and get some sleep. Goodnight, world!

The cutting room floor

I have 2 days left before the experiment begins. The list is currently at 59; it needs to be narrowed down to 52. Let me know if you think something has to stay, or if something really can go.

I also decided I'm starting the project with One Hundred Demons, but I still haven't decided on a final book. Part of me wants to end with On the Road.

1. An American Childhood
2. Catch-22
3. Ender's Game
4. How to Win Friends and Influence People
5. Angela's Ashes
6. Going After Cacciato
7. The Polar Express
8. The Complete Tales of Winnie the Pooh
9. Wide Sargasso Sea
10. The Great Gilly Hopkins
11. Water for Elephants
12. Nineteen Minutes
13. Waiting for Godot
14. The Handmaid's Tale
15. Caucasia
16. The Alchemist
17. One Hundred Demons
18. Wolf at the Table
19. On the Road
20. Stitches: A Memoir
21. Bastard out of Carolina
22. Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead
23. Lucky
24. Grendel
25. The Hours
26. Crime and Punishment
27. The Historian
28. The Grapes of Wrath
29. Sophie's Choice
30. Blankets
31. The Old Man and the Sea
32. Almost a Woman
33. The Unbearable Lightness of being
34. The Picture of Dorian Gray
35. The Naked Lunch
36. The God of Small Things
37. The Crying of Lot 49
38. Rabbit, Run
39. Midnight's Children
40. Underworld
41. One Hundred Years of Solitude
42. The Indian in the Cupboard
43. The Watsons go to Birmingham
44. Uglies
45. The Perks of being a Wallflower
46. Watership Down
47. Roll of Thunder, Hear my Cry
48. Memoirs of a Geisha
49. The Screwtape Letters
50. The Joy Luck Club
51. A Prayer for Owen Meany
52. Atlas Shrugged
53. Food Rules: An Eater's Manual
54. The Corrections
55. A People's History of the United States
56. Animal Dreams
57. Storm of the Century
58. Disgrace
59. Insomnia

A könyvek néma mesterek

For my Hungarian audience out there (and by that I mean Brooke haha), I went with a Hungarian proverb as my title for this post. I teach Multicultural Lit, and we start most classes with a cultural proverb. Students have to answer three questions about each proverb; What does this mean in your own words? What might it suggest about the culture from which it comes? and What other quotes/proverbs/situations can you connect to this proverb? Generally speaking, about half sit and stare at me in silence, but occasionally they are brilliant in the things that they say. Currently we are watching Roots, and it's interesting to see how they've changed since the beginning of the film when they would giggle at the name Kunta Kinte to now, when they get legitimately angry at the way Kunta and Fanta are treated. Maybe there is some hope for the future of America.

But back to the proverb. Translated, it means 'books are silent masters.' Which I love. I think the idea of books being a quiet background to changing the way people think and act is such a part of my personal ideology. Why read a book if it isn't going to change something about you, even if it's just changing your mood? Last night before going to sleep I reread a few David Sedaris stories. Did they change my life? No, but it did put me in a good mood before bed.

Just some thoughts for the day. I took a sick day to deal with some life stuff, but I feel kind of crappy, so it all works out. The list for the great experiment is at 52, but I'd like to have it to at least 60 so I can narrow it down. I've decided to begin with 100 Demons but I'm still searching for the book to end the project. I've already read The Little Prince, which at least 3 people have suggested.

Also wondering about short story and poetry collections. Can they go on the list, too?

Where in the world...

I have followers! Who knew?

Blogger has a really cool feature where you can look at your stats; how many page views your blog has, where the traffic is coming from, and the countries where people are looking at your postings. Obviously the majority of traffic is coming from the US, but I have people in Hungary, France, Canada, Belgium, Italy, Bosnia, and Herzegovina. According to Blogger. I know Brooke is my Hungarian viewer, and Tom maybe is Belgium/France, but who is reading in Canada and Italy? And who is reading in Bosnia? And where the heck is Herzegovina? (I just googled it; it's the Southern part of Bosnia. I'm very sorry I didn't know that). But really, if you are reading from those countries, leave me a comment! I'd love to know who's checking things out!

The countdown continues... Less than two weeks, and I still haven't finished putting the list together. Hopefully it'll be mostly done by the end of the week, and then I can narrow down to the final list. Keep sending suggestions! And thanks for reading :)

2 Weeks...

The great experiment begins in 2 weeks. Next Friday is day one, and it works out well because I currently don't have any plans for the evening. Saturday night is Fall Fest at Holty's house (we're carving pumpkins and eating delicious food... and probably playing ridiculous games, as always), but Friday night I think will be my night to just sit around in sweats and my glasses and read. I haven't decided on my first book yet. I feel like it needs to be something important and poignant and symbolic of the journey I'll be taking through literature. Maybe One Hundred Demons which seems like it's going to be an awesome book. The premise behind it is so interesting. Perhaps I'll start with something more difficult and long since I'll have an entire night to sit and read.

I don't want to create a reading schedule because I'd like to be able to chose books from the list based on what my current mood or mental need is, but I think I need to decide on a first and a last book. Something that says 'I'm beginning' and something that says 'Holy Eff, I made it through.' Once I settle on the complete list, I'll have to decide how that's going to work.

On a side note, department meeting lunch conversation today? Whoever can figure out how to use the f-word as a preposition should receive the Nobel Prize in Literature. It is 7 of the 8 parts of speech. Aren't you glad we teach the youth of America? Now it's time for movie night with Shank. Hectic and busy weekend ahead of me. Give me those book suggestions!

You're my favorite!

I figured I should give you some information on my past reading experiences, so for your blog-skimming pleasure, I give you...

Leah's Favorites: A short and not at all close to complete list of authors and literature that I enjoy.

Stephen King
I have made it my personal goal to read everything Stephen King has written under his normal name. Except for It. I don't like clowns, so f*ck that book. Other than that, though, I've gotten through 16 of them. The Stand is my all time favorite, and I try to reread the unabridged edition (I never read the original publication) at least once a year. I might add a Stephen King novel to my list just to keep it going.

Anne Rice
I may be an English teacher, but I love me some old school, overly sexualized Gothic vampire novels. I read Interview with the Vampire when I was in middle school because I had run out of books to read and it was on the shelf at our shore house. I don't think I understood parts of it, but I was hooked. I've read (and own) the entire vampire series, the witches series, and the series where those two series are combined. Confused? Me, too, but I love her books. I wrote my 11th grade term paper on The Vampire Lestat. It was called "Sexual Taboos and the Others in Society" and my mother refused to read it. That my friends is what I call a win.

John Steinbeck
This is more English major-esque. I love everything I've ever read by Steinbeck. If you haven't read East of Eden, please go and find it asap. Don't be put off by it's size; with the exception of the overly drawn up descriptions of California that are pretty much every other chapter, the story moves quickly. You might have noticed, though, that The Grapes of Wrath is on my reading list. Somehow I missed that one, and I'm ashamed of that fact.

William Faulkner
Another classic author. Love him, even though he hates women. Actually, Faulkner is like Hemingway. He doesn't really like any of his characters. And my mother is a fish.

Edgar Allan Poe
Boyfriend. Dead literary boyfriend. Ask my students, they know how obsessed I am with Poe. I wrote my senior seminar paper on Poe, and the summer prior to that semester, I read his complete works, poetry and short stories. I didn't finish his 'novel,' though. Sorry, bf.

Beowulf
I'm a weirdo. Classic tale of adventure and heroes, told in poetry! The only acceptable translation is the Seamus Heaney translation. It reads like an adventure novel, and not an Old English epic poem.

The Great Gatsby
Roaring 20's, scandal, parties, socialites... what more can you ask for in a novel? This book has some of the best quotes, and the symbolism is superb.

Dracula
Back to my vampire obsession, I love Stoker's creation of the monster. And maybe I'm partial to Romania. Okay, it might be my favorite place on earth (along with Prague and Philadelphia), but that doesn't influence my infatuation with this book! When Harker describes the food in Budapest as being 'quite thirsty' you can't turn back.

The Phantom Tollbooth
Favorite book in the world. An English nerd's dream. SO MANY PUNS!! So much of the book is just a complete play on words, it's FUN!

Hole in my Life
Excellent autobiographical account of time spent in prison. Meant for young adults, but a fabulous book. May have changed my life.

Harry Potter
Well DUH. What did you expect? My favorite is the third book, The Prisoner of Azkaban. That's where Rowling really starts to put the pieces together. Brilliant!

The Stephanie Plum Series
And finally, to assure you that I am not snobby and ridiculous about my literature, I ADORE the Stephanie Plum series. She's a bounty hunter in Trenton. She has big hair and a guido boyfriend. Really? Really? Do you doubt me for a minute? I love them. They are quick reads, though, which means it is over much too soon.

There you have it. Some of my favorites. Help me make my list based on what I like, or even what it seems like I need. :)

cup of black coffee

There is nothing better than settling in to read a new book with a cup of something warm to drink. I love reading on the beach, and I love reading outside, but there is something so soothing and relaxing about opening a book with a hot beverage curled in the fingers of my non-dominant hand. Yeah, it gets awkward when you need to turn the page, but years of practice have paid off. The best thing to drink, in my opinion, is a cup of coffee, black. So I'm looking forward to the me-time that I think this little experiment will bring. My book and my beverage, curled in bed or on the couch, navy bootcamp sweatpants (I stole them from someone and he's never getting them back now), glasses on. It's my happy place. I can't wait.

I've been slowly putting together a list, and I wanted to share with you how I'm going about creating this list. I want it to be a good mix of classics and contemporaries, so I'm doing my research. Other than suggestions of friends, family, and (hopefully soon) followers, I've been digging around and here's what I've found:

YALSA
YALSA is part of ALA, the American Library Association. It awards work in Young Adult literature, and I used this website extensively during my Young Adult Lit class in college. I've been scouring through recent and past award winners, trying to look in the non-fiction sections, as well.

1001 Before You Die
This is part of the 1001 series. They provide a list of 1001 books people should read in their lifetime, compiled by over one hundred literary critics worldwide. It's got a very wide range, so I went through all 1001 and picked out some that sounded interesting, or that I'd always wanted to read. Eventually, I'd LOVE to get through the entire list. Can you imagine how satisfying that would be?

GoodReads
Another one from my Young Adult Lit class. It has recommendations, and ranks them with the most popular. Each book also comes with reviews written by real people (not critics, but people who just love to read!).

All TIME 100 Novels
This is TIME Magazine's top 100 English language novels since 1923. It's along the same lines as the 1001 Best Books, just a list of books that are considered great.

100 Books Every High School Student Should Read
If this is the list of books every high school kid should read, I guess I should read them, too? That's what I figured, anyway. I graduated from high school without reading a decent number of these books, and now I teach high school. I need to get on this... And soon.

But the most important part of my list comes from everyone who offers me suggestions. I love to read books other people love. There is such a communal feeling, like you are in a relationship with the author and the other person, sharing something wonderful, like a secret.

So go check out the websites! See how many of the books you can say you have read. :) And keep leaving suggestions!

Jane Austen -a- phobia

I have a confession to make. Actually, it's less a confession and more a statement. I DO NOT like Jane Austen. That's right. I'm a female with a degree in English, but I cannot stand Jane Austen. Apparently this is a horrible, horrible trait to have. I've made enemies by sharing this information. And I don't get it.

I have read ONE Jane Austen novel the entire way through. Northanger Abbey was on the required reading list for my British Novel 1 class in college, and I didn't even bother to buy the book. I checked it out from the library because I didn't see the point in paying for a book I probably wouldn't like. Instead, I ended up enjoying most of it because it was a parody of the Gothic novel. Jane Austen was making fun of a genre that is closely linked to Romanticism, so I could get into it. I'm not sure if I really liked the book, or if I have inextricably linked the book with the horrible movie we watched in class (a so-bad-it's-good type), but overall I didn't want to gauge my eyes out or throw the book down in disgust.

I've tried to read Pride and Prejudice almost 8 times now, and every time I make it maybe 30 or 40 pages in before I give up. I can't do it. I get annoyed at her plot lines and her characters. I tried Sense and Sensibility and Emma, and the same thing. A section into the novel, and I put it away. I'm not the type to leave books unfinished if I can help it (I read the entire Twilight series even though every book after the first got progressively worse and worse) and I'm incredibly stubborn about these things.

I feel like I need to read and finish a typical Jane Austen novel, but I'm not sure I can bring myself to do it. Am I a failure of a woman if I don't enjoy Austen? Does this make me an anomaly to the female English major? Am I doing an injustice to the female literary canon by avoiding her? There are certain authors I simply cannot stand, but does this make me a bad person?

The List of Authors Leah Can't Take or The Guilt List:

Jane Austen
I just can't do it. Her characters are so typical and repetitive. I always feel like they are doing the same thing in each novel. Girl falls in love with boy, boy is in a different class or is a fool or can't handle her strong-mindedness, but in the end, love ALWAYS wins. THAT'S NOT REALITY! I know we read fiction as a form of escapism, but Austen's version of love and marriage doesn't mesh with my pessimistic cynical mind.

Toni Morrison
Oprah just might come out of the woodwork and kill me for this, but I have not read one single thing by Morrison that I've enjoyed. And I've read several of her works, short stories and novels, and let me say, I don't know many people that do like Morrison, students and professors alike.

Dave Eggers
There are certain authors that I am convinced people don't actually like, but pretend to like in order to achieve some social status upgrade. I tried to read A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius and it was painful. I tried because Eggers seems to be the second coming of Christ for all my hipster friends. I find his work unengaging and very self-aggrandizing. Yes, you had some rough things happen, but get some perspective on it, and get back to me.

Augusten Burroughs
This is another author I'm pretty sure people jumped on the bandwagon for because it was the 'hip' thing to do. I don't like his books, I don't like his style, and I don't much like him.


That being said, I'm still debating the need for Austen on my reading list. Am I a well-rounded reader without her?

4 Reasons

I gave you a nice little overview in my first post about my plans, but I think I need to be a bit more specific as to my reasons behind this project.

Reason numero uno:
I need something in my life to make me feel like I'm capable of accomplishing something. I've reached a standstill. At 23, I feel like I'm stuck in one place, not going anywhere. Those of you who know me well know how miserable I am here. I hate Maryland. I hate living 20 minutes from where I spent my 4 years of college and I hate teaching in the town where I graduated from college. Don't get me wrong, I love my job, and I love a lot of the people at my job, but I can't stay here. This is my last year in Maryland. And as part of that plan, I need to prove to myself I can accomplish a plan that is a lot less scary than quitting a job and moving to Philadelphia without a solid future laid out. If I can handle something simple, then I can move on to bigger and better things.

Reason two:
I'm in love with a boy who is not only in Europe until December, but also doesn't seem to love me back anymore. Sad? You bet. But I'm a grown-ass-woman who has decided to give herself a project that hopefully will bring some good back into life. I'm sick of feeling unfulfilled and insignificant. Reading 52 books won't make someone love me or make me famous, but it will hopefully improve my self-worth, which in turn makes me a stronger and better person.

Reason the third:
I need to practice good time management. Yes, I am a very busy person (no, I don't have children, but still busy!). I like being busy. But I'm also a procrastinator in the worst way, and it's time to kick that bad habit to the curb and learn to prioritize. Work, class, homework, school work, music, reading, and a social life. I still don't know where exercising fits in yet, but it's on the future list somewhere.

Reason four:
There are a lot of books out there that I haven't read. Or that I haven't finished. Or that I was supposed to read in high school, and read the cliff's notes instead (although Babbitt was a terrible book, I'm not upset I didn't actually read it). I think I need to read those books. I also don't read a lot of non-fiction, so I'm trying to expand my genres.

As for right now, I'm going to work on my grad school homework and watch the football game. It's on my schedule. :)

It starts...

This is my new project. Thanks, Brooke!

As an English teacher, my goal is to give my students literature that they can relate to, books that make them excited about life and about reading. I try my best to plan my lessons in a way that best suits the needs of high school seniors who could care less about school, let alone The Secret Life of Bees or a short story about a Greek grocer. Because my goal is to give them an education that will hopefully change them in some great way (I'm an idealist, I know), I'm putting my money where my mouth is and looking for books that will hopefully do something good in my life, too. Yes, students, Ms. Beck now has reading homework each night. So stop your complaining!

As an avid reader, I love coming across books that grab my attention, make me question the world, redefine my life; books that make me weep with joy or sadness, books that make me want to call up the author for a conversation, books that, when finished, sit on my lap closed, my hands resting on the cover, my mind at ease with a sense of completion and fulfillment.

I'm looking for 50 books that I feel I MUST read. I'm going through lists of classics, I'm going through suggestions from friends and family, I'm going on Amazon for the top reads. Contemporary, Children's or Classic, I'm picking 52 to read over the course of one year (that's one book a week; bear with me, I work full time and take graduate classes!).

This is where I'll be recording what happens. Not just book reviews, but self-reflections and life-reports along the way. The project starts October 1st, 2010.

The final list with appear the last week of September, but join me as I create the list. And send me suggestions. :)