Closet Drama

This post is not about gay theater (although when my professor wrote 'closet drama' on the board last week, that was my first thought).  Instead, it's about theater and drama as a school of literature.  Man, do I sound smart!

I just finished -- well, I have to send my take-home final back by three-o-clock on Tuesday, but don't rain on my parade -- my most painful class ever.  EVER.  Not just of graduate school, but of all classes, ever, in my life.  I won't get into details; I might need some references some day in the future, but it was a painful class.  Imagine getting talked AT for three hours, twice a week, and about half of that time is spent telling stories that don't relate to class (and, I'm convinced, are all made up!).  There was very little discussion, we lost points on reading quizzes -- yes, I took reading quizzes in my grad class -- if we disagreed with his opinion, and he gave me a B+/A- on my short paper.  You need to pick!  That's a pretty wide span of points... VENT VENT VENT.   Okay, I'm better now.

Regardless, last night was the final class of the semester, and although we all ran out the door, I did take a few interesting tidbits with me.  Closet Drama has nothing to do with homosexuality; instead, it refers to a genre of drama that is meant to be read, or done in a small group reading.  They weren't intended for the stage, although some have now become stage performances.  Faust, for instance, by Goethe, was written as a closet drama.

I was never thrilled about reading plays.  I think my first real experience with it was The Miracle Worker in 7th grade, and I recall doing a lot of acting and watching film clips.  Then we moved on to Shakespeare, A Midsummer Night's Dream in 8th grade and Romeo and Juliet in 9th, but again, we mostly just acted things out or watched the movie.  In tenth grade we listened to The Merchant of Venice, but I won't go into that because I've already ranted and raved enough.  My first real interaction with drama was with Hamlet and Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf in my AP class senior year.  That was the first time we read drama as a work of literature instead of script.

My point is that reading drama isn't structured well in most instances.  When I teach A Raisin in the Sun, I have students analyze stage directions, and I'm always amazed when they don't know what those are.  Reading 8 plays over the past 5 weeks has been enlightening; there needs to be a better way to teach drama.  It also opened my eyes to the idea that not all drama should be performed.

In context, I was given free tickets to two shows last week; I saw the new Neil Labute play Reasons to be Pretty on Sunday, and Angels in American, Part 1 on Wednesday night.  I was introduced to Labute during my summer course; we read two of his plays from Bash, which were beautifully written, interesting and deep pieces, based on ancient Greek plays.  I was thrilled about free tickets to the show.

I think, deep down, Labute is a closet dramatist.  It wasn' that the play was bad, but I found myself wanting to read it instead of watching it played out in front of me.  The actors were good, the staging was good, the music felt slightly after-school special, but I really couldn't get into it.  I found myself wondering if I would have enjoyed it more had I read the play first.  Much like turning a book into a movie, taking a script and turning it into an actual performance can be a let down.  There are so many interpretations out there -- I did my final project on Antigone, and there have been countless productions of that play done in a variety of ways, based on the vision of the director.  Are we teaching kids to be lazy by simply showing the film?

I found myself wanting a copy of the script, to follow along, or to go back over on my way home.  I wanted to see if the production was just missing something, or if I honestly just didn't really love the play.  There was so much potential there, I just wanted to analyze it, word for word, get something out of it that I couldn't get from watching 4 people yell at each other on the stage.

Angels in America, on the other hand?  AMAZING. I'm dying to read it, but for a completely different reason.  I'm attempting to broaden my horizons when it comes to literature.  My 52 books list included non-fiction for that very reason; I don't read enough of certain genres, drama included.  SO for my summer reading list, which will branch off of my 52 books list, I want drama suggestions.  Any plays you think are worth checking out, let me know.  I'm trying here!

The Alchemist and Personal Legends

I feel the need to go back to an earlier post and discuss a bit further how I feel about one of the books I recently read.  Today is just one-of-those-days, and you all know what I'm talking about, where I just feel very blah.  I have moments where my life feels very unsatisfying, where I feel overly depressed, but can't pinpoint any actual reason, where I have no motivation to do anything.   And I LOVE to complain about days like today in my blog!  It's my blog, so na-na-na-boo-boo to you.

In trying to keep myself upbeat, I want to talk a bit about The Alchemist, a really lovely book that has been compared to The Little Prince, another simple, lovely, allegorical novel.  The Alchemist is one of those used-book-sale-at-the-library purchases -- reminder to self, renew your library books so you don't have another obscene fine -- and I'm so glad that it was a recommendation for my project.

I'm not a huge fan of self-help books, so I prefer to get my life lessons through fiction.  The Alchemist is really about what each of our purposes is throughout life: our Personal Legends, as it is called in the novel.  Our Personal Legends is determined by fate, but it is up to each of us to follow the path, or to ignore the messages from out heart.  The main character gives up everything he has always known to follow a path set forth in a dream.  Along the way he meets people who help him on his quest, but it is always through struggle, and it never comes easily.

One of my favorite messages (or storylines, depending on how literal you want to take this) from the novel is about the heart; the boy (our main character) attempts to communicate with his heart, and begins to understand how things work:

"Everyone on earth has a treasure that awaits him," his heart said.  "We, people's hearts, seldom say much about those treasures, because people no longer want to go in search of them.  We speak of them only to children.  Later, we simply let life proceed, in its own direction, toward its own fate.  But, unfortunately, very few follow the path laid out for them -- the path to their Personal Legends, and to happiness.  Most people see the world as a threatening place, and, because they do, the world turns out, indeed, to be a threatening place.
"So, we, their hearts, speak more and more softly.  We never stop speaking out, but we begin to hope that our words won't be heard: we don't want people to suffer because they don't follow their hearts."
"Why don't people's hearts tell them to continue to follow their dreams?" the boy asked the alchemist.
"Because that's what makes a heart suffer most, and hearts don't like to suffer."
From then on, the boy understood his heart.  He asked that it, please, never to stop speaking to him.  He asked that, when he wandered far from his dreams, his heart press him and sound the alarm.  The boy swore that, every time he heard the alarm, he would heed its message. (Coelho, 131-2)

As we grow up, according to the heart, we don't want to be reminded of our Personal Legends, because it's too upsetting to realize we've not achieved what we secretly (or, perhaps, not so secretly) desire.  Occasionally we don't even know what would make us happy because we aren't willing to experiment.  Other times, we are willing to make jokes about the things we want in a facade of our own emotions.  And, more often than not, we simply just push those dreams to the side in the face of 'real life.'

Once upon a time, I had a dream to be a writer.  And, although I occasionally update my blog and I do keep a writer's journal, I realized very early on that was not a logical dream.  I don't have the talent, the resources, or the lifestyle for that type of adventure.  Or do I?  Am I just giving myself excuses, so that I won't feel regret about never trying?

My first grad class was about writing memoir, and the feedback I received from the other students (and my professor) was part of what encouraged me to at least start this blog.  Unfortunately, in most areas of my life, I tend to ignore my heart, and play it safe.  And, to a certain extent, I don't know if I ever have a true comprehension of what my Personal Legend might be.

I'm trying to take the negativity and turn it instead to my search.  My new goal: relax, and say yes.  I need to be calm and take everything that comes to me as a possible part of my personal legend and my path. And perhaps this blog isn't a bad start.

What is your personal legend?  And how will you achieve it?