I did not read my book for class last night. Seriously, I didn't read it. And it wasn't because I didn't have time -- we had spring break last week -- and it wasn't because I had too much to do. I mean, I was busy. I've been lucky enough to sub every day for three straight weeks -- taking off today was a choice (Anthony and I have special plans today) -- and I started my second job last week, so I did have a lot going on. But it was simply because reading that book would have been a ridiculous waste of my time. I hate to say that, because in general I enjoy school and reading and discussion, but I refused to waste my time on this assignment.
The assignment at hand was to read Tarr, a novel by Wyndham Lewis I bitched about in my last entry. In all fairness I tried to read the first chapter, but by the end of it I still had NO idea what the eff was going on. Online summaries (there are about 2, and both stink, by the way) were not overly helpful, so I decided to do something I rarely ever do and neglect to read the book. I openly admitted that to anyone who asked that I hadn't read it, but really, we spent half of class discussing the novel, and now we're done with it. That's it. Less than 2 hours of my life. Am I glad I didn't read it? You bet. And I wasn't the only one. Thank goodness for Ben, a fellow graduate student that I met in class last semester. Of the 4 people (myself included) from last semester's class who sit in the very back row, he was the only one who read the book. Danielle and I skipped it, and Beth wasn't even in class. What a great use of my money.
Don't get me wrong; I enjoy grad school, I like the other students in my program, and I like both professors I've had so far. What I do not enjoy is being mixed in with undergraduate students who are pretentious and not that smart. I know I was one of them just a few years ago, but it's frustrating to be in a class and not get to discuss certain aspects of novels/poetry because they aren't at that level.
Anyway, I didn't read the book. And I still participated in the discussion and got positive feedback from my professor. I may not have directly commented on the novel itself, but I added to class. Ahhh, the art of bullshitting.
I learned how to bullshit my way through a discussion in high school when I didn't read Babbitt (which I think I mentioned last entry). I still got an A on the final paper and pulled out some solid comments during a discussion, but I never actually read the book. As a teacher, it drives me crazy when students don't read for class. Hypocrisy? I don't want to go that far. Even when I've refused to read something -- or honestly just didn't have the time -- I still prepare myself for class. I'll read summaries and author bios, even read critical analysis to make sure I at least can follow the conversation and lecture. Does that make me a bad student? Or does that simply make me the best kind of student? (Obviously I like to think of myself as a pretty fantastic student, but really, can I be both in this situation?)
I don't like to think about how much money I pay for these classes when I'm refusing to read something for class, but maybe that's why I act this way. I'm paying a decent amount of money for this class, and I'm not going to waste my time on something pointless. As long as it doesn't come back to haunt me, anyway.
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