Last Published: November 29th. WHAT IS MY LIFE?
Honestly, though, I can't believe I let things go this long. Almost 3 months since my last post! And it's not that I forgot about my blog -- really, I thought about updating pretty frequently. It just was that I had nothing to say.
Really? Me, nothing to say?
Let me clarify: I've been reading (I'll talk about that in a later post) but most of my reading has been centered on class (20th century brit lit, what a joy!) and over the winter break, I spent most of my time applying for jobs. And not just teaching jobs, oh no. I quit my job at the wine store right before Christmas (long story that has no place here) and then ended up with a job that just didn't work out with the timing of things. AKA there was no need for my to be an employee, and I needed a part time job with real hours and hourly pay. I did hear back about a tutoring job today, though, so fingers crossed on that!
Really, though, I didn't update because I'd put myself into a downward spiral of 'funk.' And not the good, James Brown funk, but the I hate myself and my life kind of funk. I knew it was a silly way to be; after all, I'm lucky to have at least the subbing jobs and to have a cheap place to live, even if it is with my parents. It's just hard to find the positive in my current situation, and I didn't really feel like I had anything worthwhile to say. That's a bad place to be, especially for someone like me, who really enjoys the sound of her own voice.
The one thing that has helped? Remembering why I did it. I knew I didn't want to stay in Maryland forever, and the timing of leaving was because of a variety of events. I just couldn't stay there anymore. I wanted to get my masters in English, I wanted to be closer to family and to my home. So I've pulled myself back up and set realistic goals. Updating this blog every day is not a realistic goal, and reading all of those books in a year with my schedule was not a realistic goal. Instead, I'm going to add to the list and just keep on reading. And maybe, just maybe, I'll one day finish them all.
For now, though, I have to finish the end of A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man. And speaking of Joyce, maybe I should add Ulysses to my reading list.
Or not.
