A Passage to India

I suppose at this point it shouldn't shock me to log in and see the last time I posted.  ALMOST TWO MONTHS AGO?  How could I let it get this bad?

Truthfully, I feel bad -- not for any of my 'readers' who have since given up on my actually completing this project -- but, selfishly enough, for myself and my horrific lack of motivation.  I find that the more effort I put into things, the less I get out of it.  It's really a downer.  I apply for job after job, day after day, and I either hear nothing back or, true story, I get an interview and a job offer and somehow STILL end up without a job.  Much like Voldemort, that will be the job-interview-that-must-not-be-mentioned.

I really have to remind myself that this blog -- and most other things in my life -- are for me.  They aren't for anyone else.  Yes, I love to write and I love to share, but this blog is for me.  I started it during a rather low part of my life, and much has changed since then.  One day I will go back and reread some of these posts and think to myself 'wow, you were really insane.'  Then I'll remind myself of the goal for this blog, and think 'okay, okay, you had some decent insights back then.  And,' I'll hopefully think to myself, 'you've come a long way.'

Or, I might just delete the whole thing in embarrassment.

The point is I'm trying to stop beating myself up for the little things.  This is a side project, something fun, and although I wish I was updating more often, I'm not going to freak out anymore over 1 month, or even 2.

Right now, I'm reading A Passage to India by E. M. Forster.  It's a slow process because I only really pick it up during prep periods while subbing, but it's excellent.  It's also the last book on the syllabus for my grad class that ended on April 30th.  I didn't finish the book for our last class because I was too busy finishing my research paper on James Joyce.  I got a basic summary from a classmate, so I know how the book ends and I knew the major climax in the story... but for some reason, I really felt the need to keep reading.  It might be because it came after some very painful  Brit novels -- after not reading Tarr and becoming disgusted with Joyce, it was much easier to read -- but the book is written so well and so subtly that I couldn't put it down.

Once I finish the book, I might watch the movie.  Who knows?  I still haven't seen The Hunger Games, but I made Anthony promise to see it with me this weekend.  I'll probably put off watching the movie like I do everything else, but in 2 months, I'll let you guys know.

ps - I'm also halfway through A Doll's House.  My summer class is all drama, so I'm going to be reading the Greek classics up through modernism.  And he gives reading quizzes, so I won't be skipping any :)