Spending a morning at the DMV...

Dear Saturday morning,

You came much to soon, and brought with you the unhappy errand of going to the DMV (pardon me, Maryland, the MVA as you call it) to get a Maryland license.  There is a long back story as to why I'm getting one that I'm not going to go into here, but I am not pleased.  For one, Maryland licenses are ugly as anything.  There's a crab on them.  Now, I understand you all really enjoy crabs (insert STD joke here) but why do you need to deface a drivers license with a crab?  And you want me to list my weight?  Does Maryland hate all women?  I put my real weight on it, too, because I feel like lying to make myself look thinner would depress me on a fat day when I open my wallet to buy a gallon of ice cream or some cookie dough and see some ridiculous weight I will never be listed on the license.  Also I hate Maryland.

This is a blog about reading, so I promise there will be some literature connection, but for now, I get my 5 minutes of bitching.  Mom, if you're reading, please skip the next line.

Fuck you, MVA.

Firstly, I've tried before to get my license switched and they've told me I didn't have 'proof of residency.'  NO ONE WANTS TO LIVE IN MARYLAND, JUST LET ME IN ALREADY.  So when I went today, I thought I had all my bases covered.  Wrong.  Dead freaking wrong.  Apparently my pay stub didn't count as my social security option, so I checked with the counter man that I had everything else, and went home to look for my W2.  I found it, went back, waited in line ALL OVER AGAIN, got to the counter, he approved everything and I got a number.  I waited FOREVER again, finally got called up, and the woman tells me I DON'T HAVE PROOF OF RESIDENCY.  Are you out of your goddamn mind, lady???  I told her in my most polite but powerful voice that I had specifically asked and had been told all of my documents were fine.  Long story short, I finally got everything approved but it took forever.  The MVA likes to make your life as miserable as possible.

I did bring my kindle with me to continue reading The Handmaid's Tale while I waited.  This is a good plan, yes?  Waiting forever, have something to read, it's travel friendly... until it FROZE as soon as I got in line the first time.  Yes, ladies and gentlemen, my reading froze.  Again, mom, don't read the next line. Fuck you, ebooks.  This is why I like paper copies.

I brought back The Tipping Point for my 2nd trip to the DM-- excuse me, MVA, so I did get about 60 pages of reading in.  That will be an update for another post.  I just wanted to write hate mail to Saturday morning and the DMV.  MVA.  What-the-eff-ever.

So thanks, Saturday morning.  Thank you, state of Maryland.  I hate you both.

Love,
Leah

ps - I'm seeing A Charlie Brown Christmas later today, then having dinner with Shank and Ryan, then going up to Jimmy's to see his new house, then going out, then having a sleepover with Colin, so you don't completely fail.  But before noon?  We are not friends anymore.